(1) Think small
Parents are the closest people to their children, but what about the people who know them best? A survey was once conducted and parents were given a questionnaire with dozens of questions.
Who does your child admire most?
What is the one thing your child feels most excited about?
What was the one thing that hit your child the hardest when he or she was a child?
What was the one activity your child was most interested in?
Of course, the children of these parents were given the same questionnaire. When the parents' and children's answers were compared, it was surprising to find that none of the parents got more than half of the questions right! These parents may be familiar with the smallest mole on their child's body, but can't figure out if their child's idol is Michael Jordan or Michael Jackson.
In order to "think small" and know what your child needs, it is recommended that parents keep a notebook of their child's development and write down things from time to time, such as what your child is happy about today, what he is happy about, what he reveals when he talks to you today... ...it won't take too long for you to get something out of it.
(2) Think outside the box
Many conflicts between parents and their children are often due to parents "thinking out of the box". For example, if you ask your child to learn piano and he or she just doesn't want to learn, it's easy for parents to "think out of the box": firstly, I've spent so much money on buying you a piano and hiring a teacher, but you're still "biting the dog"? Secondly, if you don't learn the piano, you will be at a disadvantage in case you get extra points for further studies. Thirdly, they say that learning piano improves intelligence and temperament, so it's better to learn than not to learn anyway. If you say that, your child will be angry with your parents.
At times like this, parents have to be "open-minded", and it's okay to have a little "Q spirit", so think about it this way: firstly, I've spent a lot of money, but if my child really doesn't want to learn, he won't learn well. It will cost more than that. Secondly, if my child doesn't learn well, even if he gets "extra credit" for further studies, he won't get it. Thirdly, no matter what the benefits of learning piano are, if your child doesn't like it, he won't find it good. There are many ways to improve intelligence, so find something else that your child likes.
When there is a disagreement with your child, parents may wish to follow the following three steps.
A. Consider your child's opinion first and see if it makes sense.
B. Discuss and discuss with your child, so that you can compromise with each other and give in. For example, say to your child, "I agree that you should come back from school and watch TV for a while, but if there are no special circumstances, you must finish your homework before 8pm."
C. If both sides agree, make a plan and follow it. If there is still no agreement, put it on hold. During the waiting time, parents can also take measures to "lure" their children into the "bait", for example, if they really want their children to learn piano, they may want to take them to a concert during this time, or invite a friend who knows music to play the piano at home.
(3) Think less
One educator said, "It is best for a mother to have only one hand." In other words, let go of the other hand with your child.
Some parents also want their children to do more and practice more, but when it comes to actually doing it, they are either afraid that their children will do it wrong or that they will make a mess: "Forget it, I'll just do it myself." In this way, the child is deprived of many of his or her rights.
Parents can think before their child does something, what is the biggest detriment to the child if he or she fails? If it won't cause a lot of damage to the child's physical and mental health, leave it alone.
Think of the problem in this way.
A．Most of the things you are worried about will not happen.
B．Even if it does happen, it will soon pass.
C．Use the power of the subconscious mind to suggest things to yourself. Picture a 'picture' in your mind: the smiling face of a child who has succeeded; you can also add a sound to the picture, with the child talking happily to you; and then add a touch, with you stroking the child's face happily ......
D. Keep busy.
(4) Think big
Children don't grow up without secrets, and secrets are the best nutrients for children to grow up with.
It is well known that moving towards independence is one of the essential characteristics of modern man, and having personal secrets and being able to dispose of them appropriately is a prerequisite for moving towards independence. For the individual, secrets are often closely linked to responsibility and the need to take responsibility for them independently. In this sense, a "crystal man" without secrets will never grow up.
A. Allow your child to have secrets. Parents should do a few things: they should not read their children's diaries or letters, they should not listen to their children's phone calls, and they should not force their children to tell secrets that they do not want to disclose. This is somewhat difficult. And to do this, it relies heavily on self-discipline. If you can't trust yourself, you can set yourself some "difficulties", such as asking your child to lock the drawers and not to keep a "back-up key" for yourself; having a separate telephone (not an extension) for your child's room if you can, etc.
Educational toys can be used to prompt children's learning abilities