Self-control method -woodmam

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II. Case

  Self-control is not a simple matter, often requiring us to overcome considerable difficulties in its process, the most difficult of which is to overcome their own inertia, a student recalls his own learning with this experience.

  I grew up very interested in the subject competition of mathematics, science and chemistry, thinking that it is the gymnastics of thinking, is the embodiment of ability. However, because the secondary education I attended was not very good, it only focused on the rate of advancement in the entrance examination, and there was no training for the competition. So I had to study on my own. But there is no teacher's guidance for the competition, it is really difficult to learn by myself, take mathematics, the answer to a question is often a bend can not be turned, often a place they can not think of any way, and as soon as others say it will be found in fact very easy. This shows that it is really difficult to learn something for a competition on your own without anyone knowing about it. In my first year of high school, I always hoped to get a ranking in the National High School Mathematics League, and even dreamed of being guaranteed entry to Tsinghua with my excellent results in the competition. So I set myself a study plan to get up at 5:40 every morning so that I could start reading from 6:00 and read for an hour until 7:00 before eating and going to school. This was a really hard thing for me to stick to as I was usually used to getting up early like a battle. I did it for less than a week and started to back off, because the winter nest was too warm and it was dark outside, so I really didn't want to get up. When my dad saw this, he taught me that I must stick to my plan, that there is no smooth sailing in doing things, and that success depends on your perseverance. He also took compulsive measures and made me get up when I heard the alarm clock. At the time I didn't quite understand what my dad was doing and was very reluctant. I wanted to ignore the alarm clock and finish the dream. As it was winter, it was dark outside when I got up easily, and the water for washing up was cold. When I finally sat down at the table, I was faced with the depressingly hard task of thinking about a topic for more than half an hour, and sometimes I got sleepy without realizing it. At that time, I often wavered in my heart, thinking that it was really hard to learn completely on your own, and that there was no way to solve many of the problems you didn't understand, so I thought about giving up. But this persisted for less than half a month and it became a habit, so I didn't feel very hard to get up later, and I thought it was only natural that I should get up and do something for myself. Whenever I wanted to back out, as long as I kept reminding and encouraging myself, I was able to persevere and accomplish my goal. In the end, I won the second prize at the provincial level in the league, although it was a very insignificant prize compared to many Tsinghua students, and did not serve to guarantee my entry into Tsinghua, but after all, it was the first time in many years that our school won a prize in the National Mathematics League. From this I found that as long as you have worked hard and insisted on doing everything well, God will always let you reap the rewards no matter how unfavorable the external conditions are.

  Throughout the process of self-control, children operate and take responsibility for themselves, yet in many cases, we see many instances of not only children, but adults included, giving up halfway. The following example reflects this situation.

  Yingmei has loved snacks since she was a child, especially sweets, and never tired of cake, ice cream and chocolate. She has always been the fattest student in the class, and now that she is in the sixth grade, the little girl's love of beauty is getting stronger and stronger. She began to desire to lose weight, and her doctor told her that she must strengthen her physical exercise and control her diet, especially by eating less sweets. As she was studying in a boarding school, her mother and father could not supervise her, so she had to rely on self-restraint, and she decided to start by not eating chocolate.

  There is a small supermarket next to the school dormitory, where she shops every day after lunch or dinner to buy some daily necessities and, of course, chocolate. On the first day of her plan, she went to the supermarket at noon but didn't buy any chocolates, and she was glad she could control herself. But in the evening, she had a craving for chocolate, what should she do? There was still a piece in the dormitory that she hadn't eaten before, so she finished it first and promised not to buy any new ones later. On the second and third days, she controlled herself and did not eat chocolate. On the fourth day, her tablemate gave her a piece of chocolate, and she thought: she hadn't eaten it for two days, and it was a gift from someone else, not something she had bought, so she ate one. On the fifth day, because of the needs of life, she went to the mini-mart, she hesitated in front of the chocolate aisle: weight loss has to be slow, today I only buy a piece of the smallest, tomorrow definitely not eat. At the end of the week, Young-mi came home, her mother and father asked her how her weight loss plan was going, and Young-mi lay comfortably on the sofa and said, "I will pay attention to it in the future, but I have to take my time, anyway, I don't want to be a model or an actress, just a little fat, health is the most important thing." Young-mi said so, and started eating chocolate again.

  It can be seen that self-control is not as simple as it is said to be, and many people still have a vague understanding that self-control is only related to a person's willpower. However, behavioral psychology believes that human behavior is governed by the objective environment, not the subjective will of the individual. A person has a certain bad habit, not primarily because he lacks perseverance, but because the habit is always stimulated and reinforced by the external environment. This idea is very relevant for children whose willpower is still immaturely developed. To improve a child's level of self-control, determination and will alone will not do; one must also strengthen training and take the initiative to learn self-control procedures.

  Third, the requirements and principles

  An important requirement and principle for conducting self-control is to avoid short-circuiting immediate consequences.

  The main problem manifested by failed self-control is that there is an excess of non-desired behavior and a deficit of desired behavior. Here, we still use the example of the Anglo-American chocolate diet for our analysis.

  Ying Mei's desired behavior is to diet chocolate, and her non-desired behavior is to eat chocolate casually. Although dieting brings positive results to her future life, this behavior is short-lived, mainly because two objective factors exist: the first factor is that when the desired behavior appears, it does not receive immediate reinforcement; the second factor is that when the non-desired behavior appears, it receives immediate reinforcement. Immediate reinforcement is the immediate consequence. Since the positive outcome is in the future, it does not have a direct and obvious effect on the emergence of the desired behavior now (the immediate consequence is not reinforced). The weight loss effect does not occur immediately when Ying Mei does not eat chocolate, and she wants chocolate, and the behavior is quickly reinforced so that she can get it quickly and expeditiously from the supermarket (immediate consequences are reinforced).

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