Not letting others do it for you-woodmam

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Without such an experience, how could this student have a deep understanding of "persistence is success" and apply it to his studies? Very often, success and failure are just a small step apart.

  III. Requirements and Principles

  The principle of "not letting others do the work for you" should be a principle for developing good habits in the experience.

  Every summer when it comes to the college entrance examination, we will see thousands of hesitant students step into the examination room. The one outside the exam room is obviously more competitive. We are surprised to find that our parents take on so much for us. Except for studying, it seems that everything becomes our parents' business: cooking, washing clothes, cleaning up the room, picking up newspapers, paying the utility bills, etc. Some people may say, "Mom and Dad are the only ones who can do it.

  Some people may say, "I can't help it if mom and dad are willing to do it. Indeed, many parents unconsciously deprive us of the right to experience. Someone once collected some materials and made a comparison.

  A small Chinese child runs ahead with rice in her mouth, a mother chases after her, holding a spoon with rice in one hand and chopsticks with the other, followed by the child's grandmother holding a bowl with rice in both hands ...... This scene is common in China.

  In the United States Disneyland, an American mother forced her very young child to ride the high-speed cable car, the child wailed and cried into the mother's arms, the mother was mercilessly pushed away. The mother said, "If the child does not have this courage, he should not be a human being!"

  A Japanese child wrote an essay entitled "Lazy Dad": I remember when I was a child, I walked unsteadily, fell to the ground and cried for my father to pick me up. But my father looked at me with encouragement and said without slowing down, "Just get up by yourself." I had to get up by myself; when my school uniform was dirty, my mother wanted to wash it for me, but my father said, "Let him wash it himself!" Not only did my dad not wash it for me, but he also wouldn't let my mom do it for me, so I had to do the laundry myself; when something at home broke, my dad not only didn't care, but also found tools and forced me to fix it. In this way, some of the things that my father was too lazy to do, I learned ...... At the end of the article, the Japanese boy wrote with infinite affection: "'Lazy 'Dad, your heart and soul, I truly understand ......"

  Americans have a homeschooling principle called the "twenty-yard rule": respect your child's tendency to be independent and keep at least twenty yards away from him. This is also in line with the principle of allowing children to develop good habits through experience.

  Fan Xiaoyan, who went to college at the age of 15, grew up hearing her mother say, "You do it yourself." She washed her own handkerchief at the age of three or four, washed the dishes by herself, and learned to sweep the floor and make up the crib ...... when she went to middle school, she unwrapped and washed the quilt, the cotton jacket, and the sweater ...... This "do it yourself" spirit This "do-it-yourself" spirit enabled her to develop an independent spirit and exercise her will. When she was writing her thesis at the end of college, she ran alone in the countryside of Henan for three months and came up with a thesis of 45,000 words. She said, "'Doing it by myself' has cultivated my decision-making ability and the swiftness and decisiveness of my work." This is really thanks to her growing experience.

  Operation method

  1. Determine the goal of habit development

  It should be said that this is the first step in developing a good habit. Everything in advance is established, not in advance is invalid. If you have a goal, you can move more quickly to the actual action.

  2. Do your own thing

  In daily life, try to do your own things. For example, you should wash your own clothes, clean up your own room, and be brave enough to admit your fault when you have done something wrong.

  3. Experience the pleasure of good habits

  Under his mother's education, Dangdang has developed the good habit of being frugal. One day, he especially wanted to buy a sweatshirt. His mother told him that he could use the money he had saved to buy it, and said that if he was frugal, he would have money to spend when he needed it urgently. So Dangdang took out his pocket money and went to buy a sweatshirt, thinking it was good to save money.

  After a while, Dangdang wanted to buy a sports cap, but it was very expensive and her allowance was not enough to buy it. Mom knew about it and took some money out of her own piggy bank to help him get enough money, but asked Dangdang to return it within a period of time. Dangdang was happier this time because his mom said he had good habits of saving money and had enough trust for her to lend him money. Dangdang felt the joy that good habits bring to him.

  4. Keep in mind the trouble that bad habits bring

  An interesting piece of news came out of the town of Kirosa, Wisconsin, USA, which was particularly notable.

  Mr. and Mrs. Schuldt and Tiny have four children. For a long time, the four siblings fought and caused trouble, mischief and mischief, specializing in mischief. In their room, there is an endless sweep of garbage, ringing phone, day and night roar of the jukebox ...... this situation, so that the Schuldt and Tiny couple anxious, but because they are busy working to earn a living, there is no time to take care of these.

  With the passage of time, for the family to bear the heavy work and heavy mental pressure, so that the Schuldt and Tiny couple can no longer endure, they decided after much deliberation in the family to take a "strike". First, the mother, Tiny, stopped cooking for the four children, washing clothes, cleaning their rooms, cleaning up their garbage, and driving them out of the house. At the same time, the father, Schuldt, disconnected the phone from the children's room and cut off their contact with the outside world.

  On the day of Schuldt and Tiny's "strike," the four children broke down in tears and apologized to their parents, vowing to change their ways and start over.

  After the "family strike" victory, a pair of parents came to Schuldt and Tiny to "learn from" them. Tiny said excitedly, "The house used to be a flea market, none of the four children would help me with the housework, they just made garbage and noise, in addition to playing and watching TV. Now they know how to clean up their own rooms, wash clothes, wipe dishes, and compete to be my domestic helpers, the family is harmonious and happy, but my husband and I have to continue to work harder and continue to expand the results, so that the children become truly self-reliant workers."

  It seems that Mr. and Mrs. Schuldt and Mr. Tiny have effectively made their children experience how unpleasant their bad habits are, and without their parents' "ruthlessness", they would not have "changed their ways" so quickly.

  Chapter 4: Self-Control

  I. Explanation

  Self-control requires us to control our own behavior during the process of habit formation, and to bear the possible consequences ourselves.

  Most traditional methods of habit formation involve parents exercising external control over their children, with the educator observing, recording, and implementing the entire process. There are two disadvantages to relying on external control: some behaviors are not easily monitored by the educator, and there is a tendency for children to behave one way in front of their parents and another way in front of others or when they are alone. Self-control is effective in avoiding both of these disadvantages.

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