How to cultivate children's independence ability?-Woodmam

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Method 1: Love children, but not spoil them

Children are the mirrors of their parents. When there is a problem in the child, the "root of the disease" lies in the parents. Parents all over the world love their children, but they may not all know how to love their children. Parents think that loving their children means unconditionally satisfying their children's material needs and doing everything for them, which deprives children of the right to live independently and is not conducive to the development of children's ability to live independently.

Most of today's children are only children, and they are treated like "stars holding the moon" at home, and spoiling children has become a common phenomenon in society. Parents do their best to meet their children's needs in all aspects, and do everything within their power on behalf of their children, such as homework, housework, laundry, etc. They think this can ensure the healthy growth of their children, but this is not the case.

Liu Haiyang, a college student, lives in a single-parent family. When he was born, his parents divorced. There are only his mother, grandmother and him at home. His mother devoted all her efforts to him, and wanted her child to be admitted to a prestigious university.

Liu Haiyang has been doted on by his mother since he was a child, and everything is handled by his mother. Because he didn't have a father, he never dared to go against his mother's words. His mother wouldn't let him ride a bicycle because he was afraid of danger, so he obediently obeyed his mother's words.

Once, his mother left him bread and biscuits on a business trip. He asked him to eat the bread first, then the biscuits. Later, the bread became hairy, so he didn't eat the biscuits because he didn't finish the bread.

From childhood to adulthood, Liu Haiyang's mother helped him to do everything that Liu Haiyang should do, which also made Liu Haiyang's ability to live very poor. Even in senior year, I still have to take my clothes home and let my mother wash them.

As a single mother, Liu Haiyang's mother tried to make up for the damage caused by divorce and lack of fatherly love to her child, so that her love for her child became doting. Therefore, when parents love their children, they must grasp the principles and not spoil them.

It is human nature for parents to love their children, but when they love their children, they must have principles and standards. Parents should control their own feelings and give their children the opportunity to live independently, so that the children can truly become independent individuals.

Method 2: Respect the child's willingness to live independently

Respecting children's choices is a prerequisite for children to learn to live independently. The mother of basketball star Jordan once said: "In the process of letting go of children, the most difficult problem is to let children pursue their dreams, make life-long decisions, and choose what I designed for them. Different development paths." It can be seen that if you want your child to be truly independent, you must be brave enough to let go of your child.

Parents respecting their children's wishes can not only further exercise the children's hands-on ability, but also enhance the harmony of the parent-child relationship. Although children are young, they also have their own dignity and independent personality. As parents, we must respect the will of children to live independently. As long as there are no issues of principle, give children sufficient freedom, let them make their own decisions, and give them independence. The opportunity to live, so that the child will grow into an independent and assertive person.

Method 3: Cultivate children's awareness of independence

Independent behavior is supported by independent thought. Goethe said: "Whoever cannot master himself will always be a slave." Parents should let their children realize the importance of independent consciousness and avoid developing children's dependent thoughts.

Parents should consciously cultivate their children's independence in life. When children have their own ideas, parents should not rush to deny them, but give their children the opportunity to express their opinions and ask them why they have such ideas.

If a child is very dependent on his parents in thought, then don't expect him to be independent in action. When a child encounters difficulties, parents should not do it directly for the child, but guide the child to learn to think independently, teach the child the correct way indirectly, and let the child experience and make choices by himself.

Method 4: Increase children's interest in doing things independently

Many parents think that as long as children learn well, it doesn't matter whether they have life skills or not. This kind of wrong idea will only cultivate children with high scores and low abilities, and such children cannot adapt to social development.

The process of children doing things independently is also a process of cultivating children's independent spirit and correct working attitude. It is also a way for children to learn knowledge and understand society. Children who can't do things independently often have personality defects when they grow up, so parents should stimulate their children's interest in doing things independently.

Shanshan is 12 years old and has already started to love beauty. The frequency of her changing clothes has increased significantly, which has increased the burden of her mother's laundry, so her mother said to her: "child, mother is very busy with work, you are already 12 years old, you should help mother to share some housework. Wash it yourself, if you don't, you'll be wearing dirty clothes."

A week later, my mother found that the washing machine was full of Shanshan's clothes and criticized her angrily, so Shanshan had to wash it herself. When she really did laundry by herself, she realized that it was not as difficult as she thought. She fell in love with the beautiful laundry detergent bubbles and the sense of accomplishment watching her wash her clean clothes. Since then, she has not only learned to do laundry, but also likes to help her mother with housework.

When children have the ability to do things independently, parents should know how to praise and encourage children in a timely manner, so that children can gain a good emotional experience in the appreciation of their parents, which will also increase their interest in independent work.

The children are young and the purpose of doing things is not strong. Parents can improve their children's interest in independent work through games. For example, parents can compete with their children who sweeps the floor cleanly and who splashes less water when washing clothes.

In addition, the content of the work should be in line with the age characteristics of the child, and it should not be too complicated and the time should not be too long, so as not to affect the effect of the work, and even make the child feel disgusted with labor.

Method 5: Teach children the skills of independent living

Parents should teach their children some skills of independent living, so that children can better learn to live independently and consciously reduce their dependence on their parents.

Infancy children are in a sensitive period of behavior and gradually show a sense of independence. Parents should make full use of this period to cultivate children's self-care ability. Parents can let their children learn to dress and organize their clothes; do not feed their children, let them learn to eat easily by themselves; let their children do some housework within their ability, such as sweeping the floor, taking out the garbage, etc.

When teaching children to wash clothes, first teach them to separate dark and light colors according to color, and also refer to the label on the back of the clothes to separate washed and dry-cleaned clothes to prevent damage to the clothes. Then teach children how to operate the washing machine when doing laundry, how to add washing powder appropriately, etc. When children master these skills, they will be more active in doing it.

When children learn these skills of independent living, they can leave the shelter of their parents and better adapt to the society. The mastery of life skills is a learning process. Wise parents should patiently teach their children how to do them. Children will gradually learn to live independently under the guidance and encouragement of their parents.

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