4. Do not write "violent homework"-Woodmam
Man can adapt himself to slavery, but he does so by lowering his intellectual factors and moral qualities; man himself can adapt himself to a culture full of mistrust and hostility, but he responds to this adaptation by becoming weak and lacking in originality; man himself can adapt himself to a repressive environment, but in this adaptation man develops neuroses.
Children can certainly adapt to violent homework, but the slavery, hostility, and repression contained in violent homework can comprehensively destroy the integrity and health of the child's personality and will.
Being punished for homework is something that many people encounter when they go to school, especially at the elementary level.
When Yuan Yuan was in the fourth grade, one day the math teacher suddenly gave a quiz in class and asked the students to write a theorem that had been taught two days before. The theorem had about 20 to 30 words, and the teacher did not set out to memorize it in advance. As a result, all the students in the class were wiped out, and everyone was more or less wrong, so everyone's math homework that day, in addition to some of the regular content, also copied the theorem ten times this item.
When Yuan Yuan came home at night to do her homework, she told me about it and showed that she was worried about copying the theorem ten times.
I looked at what she wrote in the quiz and compared it to the theorem in the book, but only a few words did not match the original text. I thought, "Is it necessary for a math teacher to punish the children like this? This theorem does not require memorization from the textbook, and the textbook writers must have considered that for fourth graders, the emphasis is on understanding, and application is the goal.
There are many disadvantages to rote memorization, and the damage it can do to students' intelligence and learning cannot be overstated. The Soviet educator Sukhomlinsky condemned teachers for asking students to learn by rote, saying, "The kind of monstrous mental work of students, constant memorization, rote memorization, causes inertia of thinking. The student who knows only to memorize and recite may remember many things, but when he is required to look up a basic principle in his memory, everything in his head is mixed up in a mess, so that he appears helpless in front of a very basic intellectual work. If the student will not pick the most necessary things to memorize, he will not think."
Even if memorization is required, wouldn't it be better to memorize it and write it once, so why does it have to be written ten times? How long does it take to write it ten times? What's wrong with that amount of time? We often tell our children to cherish time, but isn't it a waste of time to spend an hour or two on such meaningless assignments?
The most important thing is to protect your child's interest in learning, but any unpleasant things associated with learning should be avoided as much as possible. So I thought, since this kind of homework has the flavor of "punishment", we can't write it, and we can't let it plant an aversion to "homework" in her mind.
I asked Yuan Yuan if she knew this theorem by heart, and she said she did. I asked her to write it once in her workbook, and it was already word-for-word. I smiled and said to Yuan Yuan, you already know it, not a single word is good, just write it once. Now, you have finished this homework.
The teacher asked me to write it ten times, so I can't write enough. I said, the teacher asked you to write it ten times because you didn't memorize it; now that you know it, you don't have to write it ten times.
The class must have written ten times, and if I didn't write it, the teacher would have to talk about me. I can see that Yuan Yuan has involuntarily written this assignment as a teacher in his consciousness, which is a bad consciousness.
I said: It's okay, why does everyone have to write ten times. Now that you have written once you have written every word, there is no need to write ten times. The purpose of learning is to learn, since this purpose has been achieved, why waste time?
I brought Yuan Yuan Yuan back to writing homework for "learning" in order to cultivate a realistic attitude towards learning in her heart.
Yuan Yuan was still worried that the teacher would teach her a lesson tomorrow if she only wrote it once. I guessed with her that if she didn't write it ten times, the teacher might get angry tomorrow, criticize her a few times, punish her, or ask her parents to come to school. I cheered Yuan Yuan up and said, "If the teacher asks why you only write once tomorrow, tell her that my mother won't let you write so many times and put the blame on her. If the teacher wants to criticize, you listen and don't say anything; if you want to punish standing, you stand for a class; if the teacher wants to call your parents, you call your mother, who will communicate with the teacher and explain to her. No matter what, you do not have to care too much, because you did not do anything wrong.
Hearing what I said, Yuan Yuan hesitated but agreed because he couldn't find a better way.
I would rather choose the latter choice between making my child painfully finish his homework and being criticized by the teacher. In reality, I have seen many parents who know that some teachers assign violent homework, but they just complain about the teacher while they keep urging their children to do their homework quickly, worrying that their children will be criticized by the teacher tomorrow if they don't finish it. This actually confuses the child's values, making "don't let the teacher criticize" the first choice and the child's personal experience and realistic spirit the second.
Protecting your child's face from being criticized by the teacher in front of the class is important, but it undermines the purpose of the assignment itself, makes your child gradually become false and disinterested in learning, and teaches your child to appeal to authority. This is actually more damaging.
Of course, I don't want Yuan Yuan to be criticized by the teacher, but I can't think of a better way. It's not that I can't write for my child, but today's assignment is different from the ones I usually write for her, and this one is clearly punitive, so I don't want to write it. I want to let Yuan Yuan know that homework is not for punishment and to say "no" to this kind of homework.
Yuan Yuan was still a bit unsure, but seeing that I was very calm, she trusted me and wrote it only once. When I thought of all the children in her class, with their tiny hands holding the pen, writing that theorem over and over again, I felt a vague pain in my heart. Two or three hundred words is nothing for adults, but these are some fourth grade children, with fear and disgust to write it ten times, the theorem will most likely never really enter their minds again.
The next day I was in the unit for the day, did not receive a call from the teacher, thought it was okay. As a result, when I came home in the evening, Yuan Yuan cried when she saw me, saying that in math class today, the teacher's first words were, "That theorem who did not write it ten times yesterday, stand up!" She didn't give her a chance to explain. Yuan Yuan and seven or eight other students stood up, the teacher not only punished them to stand up for a class, but also let these people go home that night to write all the theorems of a math book silently once, and said that if you do not write enough, tomorrow you will write silently twice, and then not enough to write three times.
The first time I saw the book, I said, "I might as well write it ten times yesterday, so I don't have to write it so much today.
I flipped through her book, closed it up and put it on the table, and said to her in a relaxed tone that she didn't have to write this assignment, not a single word. Yuan Yuan stared in some surprise.
I said: look, just the beginning of the school year, math only learned so little, this theorem you can already memorize and write, so you do not need to write again; the content of the back has not yet learned, copy once what is the use? The useless thing is not to do.
Yuan Yuan said no, if you don't write it today, you will have to write it twice tomorrow. She said this with worry in her eyes. Math homework is already so scary in the eyes of children. This is what worries me the most.
How can I try to protect her emotions about the subject so that she has good associations when she thinks of math, and not just math teachers and homework punishments? Children's values are immature, they worship teachers at their core, and if I just teach her to disobey them, she may feel a slight sense of guilt inside. So I considered how to make her really think about it from the inside and understand the matter correctly, to minimize the damage caused by this matter.
I thought of Yuan Yuan's favorite cookie, so I asked her with this favorite thing: You like cookies, right? Yuan Yuan felt surprised that I suddenly said cookies, but still answered: five.
I said, "How about eating at least ten pieces a day?" I usually limit her to eating too many cookies, and she usually eats two or three a day. I said this to make her feel more strange, some excitement some embarrassment said, too much, eat seven pieces - she compromised, must want to eat a few more pieces.
I said seriously, no, if you do not eat enough ten pieces, I will punish you to eat twenty pieces, and then not enough to eat fifty pieces, if fifty pieces can not eat, you will be punished to eat a hundred pieces. Is this okay?
She must have thought I was both cruel and incomprehensible, looking at me in surprise, not knowing what to say, the lovely cookies became horrible in a flash.
I kissed her little face and said, "Actually, writing math homework is the same as eating cookies, if the teacher leaves the right amount of homework, it is a good thing, if too much is left, it is not good, right? The teacher's homework is a good thing, but if it is too much, it is not good, right? I also said that the teacher was wrong to leave the homework in this way is not good. Since you don't want to accept your mother's request to eat a hundred cookies at once, we don't have to do such unreasonable homework as requested by the teacher. It's right not to do it, but it's wrong to do it. Homework and cookies are good things in themselves, let's not turn a good thing into a bad thing, okay?
Now Yuan Yuan understood completely and her expression was quite frank. She was still a little worried and asked me what she would do if the teacher asked her to copy theorems every day. I understand the child's heart, she in the reasoning again understand, but also can not have the courage to go to school every day against the teacher, not willing to accept daily punishment and criticism. I said, "Mom will send you to school tomorrow morning, go to the teacher, explain to her, if the teacher understands that writing the right homework is good for children, certainly will not be difficult for you. When Yuan Yuan heard me say this, she became very relaxed. She believed that I would help her solve the problem and not make things worse.
The next morning I asked for leave from work to go to the math teacher, who was 30 or 40 years old and had a cold face. I tried to mention the round homework with her, but felt that there was no possibility of communication. As soon as she heard my intention, she was immediately in a very confrontational mood, stating how she had worked so hard to teach her students, fearing that they might have the slightest problem with their studies; while complaining that parents nowadays do not understand teachers and that students do not study well. The teacher spoke to me aggressively, as if she had a powder keg in her chest that could ignite and explode if I was the least bit careless with my words.
I was so afraid of getting into trouble with the teacher that I bent my ear, smiled, listened to her with a humble face, and took all the blame on my own head. My attitude finally calmed the teacher's anger, and her mood eased. I further brought her closer to me, so that she finally said that she would not pursue the assignment. Alas, I think my approach was lacking, but as a parent, I don't know what else I could have done in a situation like that.
I understand the math teacher. She subjectively wants to teach math well, but her low level of literacy - which is evident in her conversations - makes her incompetent at teaching. A person with low learning ability can't actually teach others how to learn, which leads her to adopt some stupid ways to teach on the one hand, and on the other hand, she has low self-esteem in her bones and often does some very perverted things.
For example, she had several ways of handing out workbooks to students in class. If all the questions are correct, she hands them out; if there are wrong questions, she throws them on the floor and makes the students bend down to pick them up; if the students have more wrong questions, she not only throws the workbook on the floor, but also pinches the students' cheeks. Yuan Yuan was also pinched by her once and cried. The school strictly prohibits teachers from hitting students, this teacher can only use the pinching method. I called the principal about this, and he said he appreciated the parents' feedback and would go down to ask, but nothing changed.
What can a parent do in front of such a teacher. I could only look for more opportunities to get in touch with this teacher and try to make a good relationship with her so that I could easily talk to her the next time something happened.
But I couldn't tell Yuan Yuan about my helplessness and methods. That day I just went home and told Yuan Yuan that she had approached the math teacher and said that the teacher had realized that copying more theorems was useless and agreed not to copy them. I didn't say much else to her, let's make it easy for the child, just help her solve the problem.
Nowadays many children suffer from violent homework to varying degrees, not only from school, but also from home, and some parents, when they get angry, also punish their children with writing homework. The essence of violent homework is the enslavement of students by teachers and parents.
The philosopher Fromm said that man can adapt himself to slavery, but he does so by lowering his intellectual factors and moral qualities; man himself can adapt himself to a culture full of mistrust and hostility, but he responds to this adaptation by becoming weak and lacking originality; man himself can adapt himself to a repressive environment, but in this adaptation man develops neuroses.
Children can certainly adapt to violent work, but the slavery, hostility, and repression contained in violent work can comprehensively destroy the integrity and health of the child's personality and will.
Parents must first take care that they never create violent homework themselves; at the same time, they must support their children in saying no to such homework from school. Parents must actively seek positive communication with teachers and schools, either by talking to teachers, by speaking to schools, or by finding their own ways to protect their children. Many parents complain that teachers leave too much homework too unreasonable, while watching their children struggle with violent homework and do nothing, stand by and watch, which is the worst.
There is a very popular joke among Yuan Yuan's elementary school classmates. It says that two children fought and were punished by the teacher to write their names a hundred times. One of the children quickly finished writing and was let go, the other child wrote for a long time still not finished. The teacher criticized him for writing too slowly. The child held his tongue for a while and finally had the guts to say to the teacher: "Teacher, this is not fair, his name is Yu Yi, and my name is Abdullah Kuyiz Ulitligullah" - all parents and teachers, when having a good laugh, should have How much reflection ah!
Homework should not be used as a punishment, and you should say "no" to such homework.
Since you don't want to accept your mother's request for you to eat a hundred cookies at once, we don't have to do such unreasonable homework as requested by the teacher. It's not right to do it, it's wrong to do it. Homework and cookies are good things in themselves, let's not turn a good thing into a bad thing."
● Many parents complain that teachers leave too much homework that is too unreasonable while watching their children struggle with violent homework while doing nothing and standing by, which is the worst.
Educational toys can be used to prompt children's learning abilities