Throw away the watermelon and pick up the sesame-woodmam

As can be seen, self-control is difficult in that it requires individuals to apply rewards and punishments to themselves, and when good behaviors have not yet emerged, they may reward themselves; when bad behaviors have emerged, self-punishment may not have followed. This phenomenon is called immediate consequence short-circuiting.

  The essence of immediate consequence short-circuiting is the conflict and struggle between immediate and delayed consequences of behavior, which ends with immediate consequences winning. According to the nature of the immediate consequences and delayed consequences are reinforcers or punishers of this nature, can be divided into the following four types of immediate consequences short-circuiting situations.

  1. "As long as I'm doing well now" - immediate consequences are tiny reinforcers, while delayed consequences are strong punishers

  Ying Mei failed to lose weight because she was able to get instant gratification from eating chocolate, as long as her appetite was comfortable at the time, even if obesity would have a greater impact on her body shape and health. Immediate minor consequence reinforcers still have a greater constraining effect than delayed strong punishers. This is also true for adults who quit smoking and drinking. Adults know that excessive smoking and drinking can cause serious harm to the body, but because the consequential punishments are delayed in coming, they always fail to quit.

  2. "Throw away the watermelon and pick up the sesame seeds" - immediate consequences are small reinforcers, while delayed consequences are strong reinforcers

  There is a category of self-control such that both watermelon and sesame seeds are what you need. You can do one thing to get an immediate tiny reinforcer (sesame seeds) and another thing to get a delayed strong reinforcer (watermelon). For example, for the use of pocket money, a child can spend it to buy a small toy or save it to buy a big computer in the future; he or she can go out to play on holidays or take exam training to get a certificate in the future. Incompatible behaviors like these, where only one of the two can be chosen, result in unconsciously choosing immediate reinforcers, despite the fact that subjectively many people want the greater delayed reinforcer.

  3. "Unwillingness to eat immediate pain" - Immediate consequences are minor punishments, while delayed consequences are strong reinforcers

  The learning of new skills such as singing, dancing, playing the piano, painting, etc., often brings learners minor aversive stimuli, such as being out of tune at first, awkward posture, fingering errors, and drawing tigers into cats, but overcoming difficulties and persevering in learning can eventually lead to great successful experiences: melodious singing, beautiful dancing, melodious melodies, and wonderful brushstrokes.

  In this type of either-or choice, some people just fantasize about delayed consequences in their dreams, but in real life a short circuit of immediate consequences occurs, unwilling to suffer, where is the sweetness? The reason why "the sword is sharpened, the plum blossom fragrance from the bitter cold" is not to fall into the short-circuit of immediate consequences.

  4. "As long as there is no pain at the time" - immediate consequences are tiny punishments, while delayed consequences are strong punishments

  There is a class of dilemma choice is like this, you can do something, although it will bring you a little pain, but you can also not do this thing, waiting for you will be a greater pain. For example, if a child has tooth decay and needs to pull out a tooth, it is very painful to pull out a tooth at that time, but it won't be painful later, and the consequence of not pulling out a tooth is "toothache is not a disease, but pain really kills." There are children who are afraid of injections when they get sick, and if they don't get small injections, they will definitely need more big injections in the future. The "small intolerance is a big plan" is to avoid this immediate consequence short-circuit phenomenon.

  Fourth, the method of operation

  Immediate consequences of short-circuiting is the main reason for the failure of self-control, which does not mean that no immediate consequences of short-circuiting, self-control can be successful. Self-control also needs to complete the following procedures.

  1. determine a clear and specific, appropriate degree of target behavior. Do not set vague and abstract goals, such as "lose weight", "love of learning", "improve peer relations" and so on. Make the goal a list of things to say or do, so that it is clear whether the actor has achieved the goal. If you are prepared to reach the ultimate goal in a progressive manner, write down intermediate goals so that self-monitoring is in place. Ying Mei's target level of behavior is inappropriate and spans too much. She loves chocolate, so she can set the goal to eat less chocolate than a day (meaning grams rather than pieces).

  2. Identify incompatible behaviors. When your goal is to reduce the non-desired behavior, you have to increase it incompatible behavior, and vice versa. Ying Mei's purpose is to reduce eating chocolate and other sweets and snacks, then she should avoid hunger as a reinforcer to appear, take some incompatible behavior to resist hunger, such as eating a full meal, drinking more water, eating fruit, etc., to reduce fat intake.

  3. Increase the difficulty of the occurrence of non-desired behaviors. Non-desired behavior exists because there are reinforcers around it, without the stimulus of the objective environment, non-desired behavior can not occur. Britain and the United States can increase the difficulty of non-desired behavior, from home, the living and school supplies are brought enough, do not leave themselves the opportunity to visit the supermarket; can also bring little or no pocket money, and are not allowed to borrow money from classmates, so you can not buy chocolate.

  4. Strengthen self-monitoring and encouragement. Self-encouragement is to provide strength for yourself to persevere to the end. You can do this: put the behavioral goals on your bed or table corner to remind yourself; find relevant and insightful mottos to raise your awareness; put how to reward yourself for the desired behavior. Write down clearly how to punish yourself for non-desired behaviors.

  5. Find support from others. Self-control is not about managing oneself alone. Support and help from relatives, teachers and peers is also a way to achieve self-management, especially imitation among peers is an external stimulus that cannot be ignored. A child who does not like to read can be friends with a child who loves to read to reinforce his reading behavior; a child who does not like to clean his room will have to gradually change his unkemptness if he is in the same room with a child who loves to clean his room. Yingmei can spend more time with students who do not like to eat snacks to control the prerequisite stimulus for the emergence of non-desired behavior; you can also make your target behavior public to your classmates, adding psychological pressure and moderate anxiety to yourself, urging you to strengthen self-management.

  6. The implementation procedures of the previously introduced methods can be borrowed in combination, only the supervisor can be changed from others to oneself, to achieve self-control.

  Chapter 5 emotional diversion method

  I. Explanation

  As we grow older, we have a richer understanding of the mind. A fact that should not be ignored is that to develop good habits, it is necessary not only to build our own behavior, but also to rationalize our own mental perceptions and correct any paranoid, non-rational and emotional perceptions that may exist in us. This is where emotional detachment comes into play. Rational emotion de-escalation is the product of combining behavioral psychology with cognitive psychology. In addition to shaping good behavior and correcting bad habits, which can be accomplished by regulating outward behavior and stimulating the environment, it can also go deeper into changing the internal thoughts of the adolescent, and the older the child is, the more he or she needs to do this first.

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